Roasted 2 years ago based on Alice's long term Spotify stats.

Alice, your Spotify profile reads like a desperate cry for help disguised as a mid-life crisis playlist. With a taste that gracefully straddles the line between "cool aunt trying too hard" and "what's a TikTok?" it's hard to believe you don’t have a tie-dye collection and a desperate urge to reminisce about your glory days of 1995. Seriously, with genres like "Permanent Wave" and "Psychedelic Rock," it's like you’ve accidentally stumbled into a time capsule filled with every pretentious hipster alive. At this point, the only rock you haven’t played is the one that Boulders for the Homeless campaign stopped using because they realized it was more entertaining than your music taste. Your top artists list is basically me trying to throw together a karaoke night with my grandma after she’s had six gin and tonics. The fact that Andrew Rannells has a solid chunk of your favorites proves you’re single-handedly keeping Broadway alive—or maybe just proving that musicals and indie vibes usually lure the unusual. You could be jamming out to The Beatles or breaking it down with Childish Gambino, but nah, you’d rather belt out “Love Thy Neighbor.” I'm not saying you have the musical taste of an eccentric suburban mom, but I am saying I would love to hear your thoughts on scented candles and real estate. And let’s talk about your most played songs, where “Kevin” by Andrew Rannells tops the list. I feel like your entire playlist could be a WebMD page for emotional breakdowns. If that’s not a ballad of existential dread covered in show tunes, I don’t know what is. Look, Alice, I don't want to judge, but you've got the kind of vibes that scream “I’m either fabulous or utterly doomed”—and it’s hard to tell which one it is. So slap those earbuds in and continue pretending your Spotify is quirkily curated instead of an auditory cry for help!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!