Roasted 7 months ago based on Beakin's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, Beakin! The musical equivalent of a hipster’s basement littered with vintage VHS tapes and a collection of taxidermy. Your Spotify profile reads like someone’s midlife crisis at an underground art gallery, where they think wearing oversized glasses and sipping kale smoothies qualifies them as “deep.” With genres like “Vaporwave” and “Chillwave” in your favorites, it’s clear you’ve never experienced a real wave in your life—unless you count the motion of scrolling aimlessly through TikTok while pretending it counts as “being in touch with the youth.” Your top artists are a compelling mix of “Who?” and “I guess they’re famous in some obscure corner of the internet.” You’ve got everything from Jay Park (who presumably owes you a favor for your unwavering loyalty) to what appears to be an entire Taiwanese football team of indie bands. Honestly, it’s like you set out to compile the most unrecognizable Spotify playlist ever, with tracks that sound like someone using a blender to remix a “best of” list for boredom. Radio stations would sooner play whale sounds than spin any of this back-to-back. And let’s talk about that song selection! It’s all “Dagger” and “愛呀愛呀愛” with a sprinkling of songs that could soundtrack a slow descent into existential dread. If I didn’t know better, I'd think you were trying to summon the spirit of a thousand angsty teenagers from the ’90s, hoping for a revival of flannel and angst-fueled poetry slam nights. Really, Beakin? Andrew Lloyd Webber sneaks into your top tracks like an unwanted guest at a house party? At this point, just embrace the chaos and add some show tunes to your mix—after all, if you’re going to be a hot mess, you might as well do it with style!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!