Roasted 1 year ago based on Simon van der Spoel's long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it’s Simon van der Spoel, professional lover of everything that sounds like it came straight off an Ibiza DJ's playlist from 2012. Your Spotify is like a buffet for someone who only knows two types of genres: "bangers that sound the same" and "progressive confusion." You’ve got more trance in your life than a yoga class with an ambient soundtrack, and I’m pretty sure your brain vibrates in 140 BPM. Do you even listen to music, or is this whole profile just a cover-up for your covert operation to make everyone else feel outdated? And your top artists—wow! Armin van Buuren and Ferry Corsten? How very “2009 of you.” Have you checked the calendar, Simon, or are you still riding the wave of your techno-induced time warp? I don't know what’s more embarrassing: the fact that you passionately scream along to "Big Balls" by AC/DC or that you think it somehow fits among your other saccharine, overly elaborate tunes. Newsflash: the 80s called, and they would like their dad rock back, along with your dignity. Oh, and by the way, there’s nothing quite like blasting “Ich bin wie du” at a party to really kill the vibe. This isn’t a retro German karaoke night; it’s a dance floor, for crying out loud! Your playlist is an uncanny mash-up of a college dorm room's worst DJ selection and a sentimental middle-aged dad’s Spotify. Maybe it’s time to evolve, Simon. Or should we just assume you’ve given up on life and decided to live permanently in a club where the music hasn’t changed since the '90s?

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!