Roasted 9 months ago based on Joey Double's long term Spotify stats.

J Puhl, your Spotify profile reads like the playlist of a teenager who just discovered hot topic and decided to make a career out of wearing black nail polish. It’s like you looked at a buffet of music and then picked every song that would make you cry in your parents' basement while looking at old MySpace messages. Rock, Indie, Garage Rock, Hard Rock—congratulations, you somehow managed to turn your taste in music into a middle-class emo opera. With genres like “Neo-Psychedelic,” I’m just waiting for the day you start writing your diary entries in pastel colors. Your favorite artists are a who’s who of aiming-for-a-mood but ending up looking like someone who writes motivational quotes on their bathroom mirror. I mean, nothing screams existential crisis quieter than Twenty One Pilots and Death Cab for Cutie on repeat. Listening to them back-to-back must be like riding an emotional rollercoaster built in a garage—lots of ups and downs, but you never seem to go anywhere. And if "alt-J" was a sound, it would be “I have a degree in philosophy and I’m not afraid to use it” as you sip your oat milk latte and contemplate your life choices. Then there are your most played songs—truly a shining beacon of “I’m still figuring it all out.” “I Will Possess Your Heart”? More like, “I will possess a collection of deep scars and an impractical love for indie bands.” With tracks like “The Less I Know The Better,” it's clear you don't have a handle on your relationship history either. J Puhl, if your life was a song, it would definitely be a 6-minute long acoustic ballad about how hard it is to find your keys while being simultaneously lost in thought about the universe. You keep listening to this stuff, and I'm half-expecting to see you writing a screenplay about your favorite socks.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!