Roasted 2 years ago based on njue's long term Spotify stats.

Newton Njue, the walking contradiction of musical tastes, you're like a Spotify playlist made by a raccoon on a sugar high. With a favorite genre lineup that screams “I can’t commit to anything,” you’ve managed to blend the seedy underground of hip hop with the sugary goodness of pop, and somehow left no room for anything that resembles a personality. Seriously, have you ever looked in the mirror while belting out "Call Me Maybe"? I imagine you’re mid-chorus, wondering how your Spotify history could be both a party and a cry for help at the same time. Your top artists read like a group project in high school where everyone threw in their favorite song without a second thought. Vybz Kartel and Big Time Rush? That’s definitely a musical identity crisis! At this point, your Spotify account is two very different people awkwardly sharing a room. If this was a dinner party, Kanye would be nervously eyeing Nicki across the table while Juice WRLD tries to convince everyone he’s not just there for the snacks. I didn’t know it was possible to have both “trap” and “dance pop” on the same playlist without knocking over the entire vibe like a clumsy DJ. And can we talk about your most played songs? “Va Va Voom” and “Boom & Bend Over” on repeat? It’s a wonder your speakers haven’t filed for a restraining order from all that unreleased angst. You're like the embodiment of “I have commitment issues, but I really like to party!” Your music choices need a therapist more than a new playlist. At this rate, I wouldn’t be surprised if your Spotify algorithm thought you were living in a perpetual state of midlife crisis at 25. So here's a thought: next time you're crafting that eclectic playlist, consider adding a touch of self-awareness—instead of “Big Difference,” let’s make it “Big Decision.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!