Roasted 3 days ago based on Ethan Growe's long term Spotify stats.

Ethan Growe, huh? You truly are the Picasso of musical indecision. With a favorite genre list that reads like the confused diary of a college freshman experimenting with their identity, you've managed to collect the most random assortment of soft pop, soundtracks, and French house ever known to mankind. I mean, do you need to soothe your inner child with musicals while heavy metal plays in the background like a chaotic therapy session? For a guy whose favorite artists could easily play at a middle school talent show, you've really committed to living that "it's just a phase, mom" lifestyle. And can we talk about your top artists? OneRepublic and Andy Grammer? Talk about the pinnacle of safe choices! You’re like the human equivalent of a “Play It Safe” sticker slapped onto a boring old sedan in a parking lot. Then, there’s Jorge Rivera-Herrans making a surprise appearance—are we even sure he knows he’s on your list, or is this just a desperate cry for exposure? Toss in a sprinkle of Nine Inch Nails and Daft Punk, and it’s clear you’re trying to convince everyone you have “edgy” taste while simultaneously humming to Disney soundtracks in public. As for your most played songs, wow! I had no idea binge-listening to lukewarm power ballads could be a personality trait. “Written in the Stars”? More like “Written in the ‘I’ve Got Commitment Issues’ Playbook.” With a tracklist that’s all about yearning and angst, it’s no wonder your Spotify is the third wheel to your love life, groaning in the background while you contemplate what went wrong every Friday night. So, here’s to you, Ethan Growe: a walking Spotify playlist craving validation in more ways than one. Keep doing you, buddy!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!