Roasted 1 month ago based on Finn Goldblatt's long term Spotify stats.

Finn Goldblatt, your Spotify profile reads like a playlist curated for a midlife crisis in a rustic coffee shop where everyone wears beanies and skinny jeans. The amount of "Folk" genres you have is alarming; are you secretly trying to summon a hipster deity or just hoping for a grainy black-and-white film of your life? At this point, the only one who should be worried about "Bedroom Pop" is your roommate, who probably wakes up every day wondering if the soothing sounds of your sad strumming will ever lead to laundry being done. And oh, your top artists list! We get it, you have a type: moody guys who look like they drink herbal tea and think social justice is a good opener at parties. You could weaponize Lord Huron’s discography to impress the most basic of romantics. Every time "Hozier" plays, I can practically hear the collective moan of your friends who are trying to navigate the minefield of your emotional depth. But hey, at least there's one thing you’ve got going for you—your love for "girl in red" proves you appreciate diversity. Congratulations on being a one-man emo revival! Now let’s discuss your most played songs. "We'll Never Have Sex," and "My Favourite Book Is One I’ve Read A Bunch"? Finn, it sounds like your Spotify is trying to tell you something. With such heartfelt songs in the mix, I can only assume your real-life soundtrack is filled with tragic miscommunications and awkward silences. If you want a reality check, put on "Cigarette Daydreams" and realize it’s not just a song—it's a roadmap of every brunch you’ve had where you've droned on about your “unique experiences” to the same disenchanted crowd. Keep it up, my dude; you might just single-handedly redefine what it means to be painfully relatable!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!