Roasted 16 days ago based on Abby's long term Spotify stats.

Abby, your Spotify profile reads like a desperate "pick-me" note left in the lost and found of a middle school dance. Pop? Classic Rock? Southern Gothic? I’m surprised you didn’t toss in “Sounds of the Ocean” and “White Noise for Sleep” to complete this existential crisis of a playlist. Your music taste is like a buffet where someone tossed in all the leftovers—and you're too polite to say no. And let’s not even start on your top artists. If Bruce Springsteen and Taylor Swift had a child, it would probably have a quarter-life crisis by now trying to reconcile both its pop aspirations and classic rock heart. But then you add Noah Kahan and "Poor Man's Poison," which sounds like a hipster's poison ivy in the backyard, and we see you've mastered the art of confusing the hell out of anyone trying to figure you out. Your taste in music could singlehandedly cause a genre identity crisis in a record store. Your most played songs? What a certified mess! "Hallucinogenics" and “Burn My Tongue”? Abby, either you’re self-medicating with your music or you’ve accidentally opened the door to an underground emo tea party. And “Just in Case” is that song we all play during breakups because we aren't sure if we should hope for the relationship or wish for a dramatic movie-style ending. Newsflash: you don’t need a soundtrack for your melodrama; maybe just a therapist! With these bops, it sounds like you’re in dire need of some “Good Luck, Babe”—and probably a few years of therapy to unpack all these musical issues.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!