Roasted 6 months ago based on Rachael's long term Spotify stats.

Rachael, your Spotify profile is like a teenage angst diary thrown in a blender with a midlife crisis. Seriously, with that favorite genres list, I can’t tell if you’re curating a playlist for an emotional breakdown or gearing up to sit in a corner wearing flannel and debating the meaning of life. With options ranging from shoegaze to nu metal, it honestly seems like you're trying to cover every possible way to sound sad, confused, or mildly annoyed at the universe. Who knew one person could embody the essence of mood swings so effortlessly? Let’s talk about your top artists, because wow, it’s like you raided Hot Topic’s clearance bin and decided to make that your whole personality. Deftones, Radiohead, and a dash of Lana Del Rey? You’re basically the poster child for “I promise I’m deep; please take me seriously.” Throw in $uicideboy$ and you’ve got the ultimate soundtrack for a high school drama club’s production of “How to Cry at a Coffee Shop.” And then there's Alex G – it’s like you felt the need to remind everyone that you’re “indie” too, but only when it's convenient, like showing up at a party for the snacks. But wow, those most played songs are a trainwreck of ironic sadness. You start with Sufjan Stevens, then swing into “i was all over her” from salvia palth? Talk about mood whiplash! This playlist feels like the soundtrack of someone who can’t decide if they want to sob on the bathroom floor or dance like no one’s watching. Come on, Rachael, it’s 2023; even our Spotify profiles deserve some consistency. But hey, at least with these jams, you’ll always have something playing while you ponder existential crises and sip on that overpriced oat milk latte!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!