Roasted 4 months ago based on ashley 😼⭐️'s long term Spotify stats.

Ashley, your musical taste is so dark and ambient that I half-expect your Spotify profile to come with a warning label: "Caution—listening may induce existential dread!" Seriously, you’ve got more slow tunes in here than a sloth trying to win a marathon. It’s like you’re trying to get people to slow dance with their crippling anxiety while whispering sweet nothings about the weight of existence. If I wanted to feel this way, I’d just read a Dostoevsky novel while soaking in a bathtub full of ice water. And can we talk about your top artists? "MY HEAD IS EMPTY" really needs to upgrade to "MY HEAD IS A BLACK HOLE" because that’s the only explanation for the vibe you’re rocking. From "Vacations" to "Flawed Mangoes," you’re curating a festival of sheer confusion. It’s like you shotgunned a hipster coffee shop playlist and then decided to throw in 50 Cent just to keep your friends guessing. I’m just waiting for the moment you slip into the local karaoke bar and set the crowd into a baffled silence while attempting to perform a medley of old school hip hop mixed with lo-fi indie and cumbia sonidera. Your most played songs are a masterpiece of indecision, Ashley. “Things to Do” sounds like a fitting theme for your Spotify account: Step 1: Start caring about your music choices. Step 2: Optionally continue not caring. "Facebook.com" by Memo Boy? You’re literally singing the praises of social media like it's some kind of lost Shakespearean sonnet. And let’s not neglect the absolute icon of "Daddy Issues" by The Neighbourhood in the same list as "Sweet Child O' Mine". Look, we see what you’re doing here—trying to embody the emotional spectrum from parental abandonment to nostalgic high school crushes all in one playlist. Let’s just hope that your next step isn’t creating atmospheric soundscapes for people whose biggest struggle is deciding what to eat for dinner.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!