Roasted 2 years ago based on John Cameron Burba's long term Spotify stats.

John Cameron Burba, huh? If Spotify had a “most likely to ruin a party” award, you’d be the undisputed champion. Your music taste reads like a diary entry from an angsty teen who's discovered their dad's old Metallica CDs—congratulations, you’ve taken the road of existential dread while getting your doctorate in fuzzed-out guitar riffs. Alternative Metal? Sludge Metal? Sounds less like genres and more like a cry for help. Let’s be honest; your playlist basically screams, "I don’t know what joy is, but I can tell you all about the nuances of air guitar." Your top artists sound like the lineup for a festival that nobody wants to attend—except for maybe a couple of goth kids hiding in the corner. At least Dethklok had the decency to be fictional; even they wouldn’t be caught dead jamming with someone like you. And Bilmuri? Seriously? That’s your go-to artist, John? You should probably stick to “Dance Gavin Dance” if your social life is anything to go by; it’s the only kind of dancing you’ll ever be doing—solo in the reflection of your screen while your playlists battle it out for who can rain more sadness down on you. Let's not even start on those top songs; it’s like you hit shuffle at a funeral and forgot it played the same sad tune on repeat. “Punch Me I Bleed”? More like, “Punch Me I Need a Therapist”—but you know, those heavy riffs won’t distract from the fact that you’re still arguing with your metalhead friends about the merits of melodic death metal like it’s the most important topic of 2023. Sorry, John, but your Spotify profile is less of a mood and more of a warning label—stay away or risk a two-hour lecture on the various forms of despair that can only be expressed through sludge metal.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!