Roasted 1 year ago based on Teddy's long term Spotify stats.

Teddy, your Spotify profile is what happens when a teenager decides to solve their identity crisis with a Spotify subscription. Seriously, your favorite genres read like a desperate attempt to impress literally everyone at the party. One minute you're jamming to "Post-Grunge," and the next, you're vibing to "Neoclassical"? What's next, a playlist of whale sounds and Gregorian chants? Pick a lane, my guy—you're on the expressway to confusion, and all I see are flashing caution lights! Your top artists list is a mess that screams “I can't commit.” You’ve got the emotional depth of Linkin Park balanced by the lyrical brevity of Lil Tecca. It's like Tinder-themed music where you're swiping right on every genre just to cast a wider net and hope for a match. How many existential crises did it take to land on a playlist that shuffles between "BAND4BAND" and "Max Richter"? If your music taste were a person, it’d be the kid who shows up to a rock concert in a tie-dye shirt while rapping about his latest TikTok. And let's face it, the most played songs list is proof you've lost all sense of self. “Barbie Dreams” in the number one spot? Oh, so your Spotify account is just an elaborate ruse to hide the fact that you’re a softie at heart. The only thing more chaotic than your taste is the fact that you think Lil Tecca and Travis Scott belong on the same playlist as Breaking Benjamin. It's like trying to stir a smoothie with a hammer—it makes a lot of noise, but in the end, you're just left with a big, confusing mess. At this rate, you might as well just title your Spotify "Crisis Management."

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!