Roasted 2 months ago based on alex's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, Alex, your Spotify profile reads like a hipster love letter written with a quill made from organic avocado toast. Seriously, who knew you could cram more indie genres into a single profile than a seven-layer dip at a food festival? With "Bedroom Pop" and "Jangle Pop" in your favorites, it's clear that your music taste is as confused as a cat in a dog park. I mean, are you trying to impress someone or just looking to start a Pinterest board for sad college kids? Let’s talk about those top artists—you've got a lineup that screams “I'm emotionally unavailable but also oddly well-read.” TOPS? More like "Can't Get Enough of the Obscure." And who are Brògeal and English Teacher? Are we sure they aren’t just your imaginary friends that you invite to parties to make yourself look cooler? With every artist choice, I can picture you curled up in a small café with a kale smoothie, lamenting over the fact that people just don't get your taste while trying to explain the intricacies of "Glam Rock" to a bewildered barista. Now, your most played songs could use a warning label for extreme pretentiousness. "Closer to You"? More like “Please Get Closer to a Therapist.” Seriously, "12 to 12" should only be played on days when you want to feel like you're in a Monty Python sketch of awkwardness. I can almost hear the collective groan of the Spotify algorithm as it tries to recommend something that doesn't make your playlists sound like a soundtrack for an indie film that never got greenlit. If you ever wonder why your friends pretend they don't hear you when you recommend songs, it's probably because deep down, they know you’re just a hair’s breadth away from posting an “Emo Chicken Soup” recipe on TikTok.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!