Roasted 13 days ago based on David's long term Spotify stats.

David, thank you for gracing us with your Spotify profile, a veritable smorgasbord of music genres that screams, “I can’t decide what personality to adopt today!” Hyperpop to Bedroom Pop—it's like a mood ring that’s perpetually broken, flipping wildly between “I’m feeling bubbly” and “I just want to cry in my bedroom.” The only thing more confused than your playlist is the poor soul who tries to figure out what mood you're in, or, God forbid, what to put on for a road trip with you. I mean, really? "Nu Metal" AND "Rap Metal"? At this point, you're practically begging for someone to throw a mixtape of Linkin Park and Lil' Wayne at your head just to see if anything will stick. And what's with all those artists? I had to Google half of them—are you trying to introduce the world to indie gems or just flex your obscure taste in music to impress the one friend who doesn’t realize you’re a walking Spotify genre confusion? Spoiler alert: they don’t care about your “corrido” phase. And those most played songs? First of all, André Laplante deserves better than to be used as background noise for your existential crisis. “Another Rain (From ‘Halo 3: ODST’)”? David, if I wanted a soundtrack to the disastrous narrative of your life, I wouldn’t need to click through your most played; I’d just need a bottle of wine and a therapist. But hey, keep embracing that chaotic medley of tastes! We’re all just here for the memes and the cringe, and you, my friend, are the gift that keeps on giving.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!