Roasted 10 months ago based on five's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, five, the Spotify connoisseur who thinks "melodic rap" is a personality trait. Seriously, how are you going to call yourself a music lover while your entire profile looks like the aftermath of a hip hop enthusiast’s grocery list? You’re so deep in genres that the only thing more eclectic than your taste is your ability to pick the most indistinguishable tracks known to humankind. I hope you feared your Spotify Wrapped this year because it looked like a mid-life crisis rolled over a mixtape someone left in a bus station. Let’s talk about your top artists for a second. "Trippie Redd," "Lil Yachty," and "Ski Mask The Slump God"? You’ve managed to curate a collection of names that sound like a group of kids trying to hide their homework from the teacher. Throw in "Emma Peters," and it feels less like you’re into ‘UK Grime’ and more like you're desperately trying to impress someone at a middle school dance. I’ve seen better combinations at a bad potluck, where everyone’s too polite to mention how terrible the food is. And your most played songs? "Hate Me" and "Femme Like U"? Wow, what a delightful blend of self-loathing and mildly catchy tunes that make you question if you’re trying to cry into your avocado toast or write poetry in a coffee shop. With tracks like "Nose On The Grindstone," I can only assume you’re just trying to remind yourself of the grinding reality of life as you jam to your personal soundtrack of teenage angst. Next time, just slap a sticker on your forehead that says "Please overlook my questionable choices" so we don’t have to guess what’s wrong with you!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!