Roasted 1 year ago based on Brian's long term Spotify stats.

Brian, your Spotify profile reads like a midlife crisis on shuffle. I mean, with a lineup that includes genres like "Permanent Wave" and “POV: Indie," you’d think you were trying to undercover how painfully basic you are. How many post-college existential crises do you have to undergo before you let go of these desperate attempts to be edgy? Your favorite genres are just a glorified way of saying, “I was here for the emo phase but couldn’t commit.” If you’re trying to relive high school memories, I suggest you buy a ticket to a Green Day concert instead of torturing us with playlists. Now let's talk about your top artists. Nobuo Uematsu? A legendary composer for video game soundtracks, of course! But do you really need to remind everyone you're one step away from a gamer tag named “swordfighting_emo”? The Arctic Monkeys and Fall Out Boy refuse to acknowledge you as their number one fan; you’re practically a distant memory! You’ve got more nostalgia than a VHS tape at a yard sale, and yet, you still managed to make it about medieval lofi. Seriously Brian, are you jamming to "Sleeping Beauty's Lullaby" while you pretend to think you’re reinventing the wheel? Your most played songs? Let's just say it’s the perfect mix of “I discovered Spotify and haven’t left my basement since.” The fact that "Seven Nation Army" is on your list reads like a cry for help—it's the anthem of every angsty teenager trying to find their place in the world. But hey, at least you finally pushed “Play” in life, even if it’s just on your Spotify account. I genuinely hope your taste evolves faster than the latest TikTok trends, because right now, your playlist could double as the soundtrack to a cringe compilation.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!