Roasted 2 months ago based on Cilantro ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ's long term Spotify stats.

Cilantro ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ, a Spotify profile that perfectly embodies the phrase “it’s a vibe” — if that vibe were an awkward middle school dance where the DJ only has a limited selection of sad Lana Del Rey tracks and your auntie’s Banda playlist. With a favorite genres list that reads like a hipster’s grocery list, you clearly enjoy music as diverse as your bad taste; Garage Rock to Ranchera without a hint of irony. There’s no doubt that your music selection embodies the complex nature of someone who can’t decide whether they're distressed over existential dread or just hungry for tacos. And let's talk about those top artists. It’s like a “who’s who” of mildly popular artists you think make you seem cultured, but we both know you’re just one sad Spotify late-night session away from transforming into an ultra-basic walk around the park with your ear buds. Sure, The Beatles and The Smiths are legendary, but your infatuation with Lana Del Rey is so intense I half-expect you to marry her in your backyard while chanting her most melancholic lyrics. She might even start hitting you up for "emotional support" at this point. You’re basically her number one fan—and I’m not talking a fun Comic-Con kind of fandom; it’s more like “I can’t go on living if I don’t hear ‘Cherry’ at least once a day.” As for your most played songs: wow, what a showcase of guilt trips and deep feels! “Gretchen Ross” and “Busy Woman”? The only thing busier than Sabrina Carpenter’s career is your desperate need for validation. You’ve got more Lana tracks in your top played than I have sweaters, and that’s saying something—usually I could knit a whole collection with how frequently you repeat “one more chance.” With that said, don’t worry, Cilantro, I’m sure there are listening parties in the afterlife for people like you, because two minutes into the "Living Legend" is still better than hearing about your ninth different take on a surf rock song's meaning.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!