Roasted 1 year ago based on Squirtle🍭🍭's long term Spotify stats.

Squirtle🍭, the only person I know whose Spotify profile looks like a teenage girl’s dream sticky note collection gone tragically wrong. Seriously, I’ve seen less sugary content in a candy crush game! Is there a prize for the most excessive use of pop in your playlist? Because I think you’re winning the award for "Most Likely to Burst into Song at a Funeral." With K-pop and bubblegum pop dominating your favorite genres, I have to ask: do you even own a genre that isn’t suitable for a tween’s birthday party? Your top artists read like a lineup for a karaoke night that no one wanted to attend, and I have to hand it to you—your mix of self-esteem and musical taste is nothing short of impressive. It takes courage to stand by TWICE like it’s a loyal dog that never barks back. I mean, even Taylor Swift is probably on a conference call with her management team, figuring out how to distance herself from your playlist in case they ever hear it. Just imagine her cringe if you mistakenly showed her your top songs. “Do Not Touch”? More like “Please Don’t Even Listen.” And what’s with the most played songs? You’ve somehow combined what sounds like a kid’s bop with some existential crisis flair. “The Chase” might be the perfect soundtrack to you running away from some serious music taste, and “Dance The Night” from Barbie? You really couldn’t get more on-brand with that one. If this were High School Musical, you’d be the person earning detention for not blending in—or maybe just for the confusing amount of pop sugar in one playlist. Watch out, Squirtle🍭, your Spotify is about five seconds away from being set to private to prevent any more social embarrassment!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!