Roasted 6 months ago based on ⭐️ lou's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, Lou, the self-proclaimed connoisseur of music whose taste is akin to a hipster coffee shop's playlist left to simmer too long—just pretentious enough to make you feel like you should have a beret on. With a favorite genres list longer than a Parisian café menu, it’s no wonder you gravitate toward French Pop and Bedroom Pop. I guess we should've seen this coming since your playlist is basically a soundtrack to a midlife crisis that hasn’t even happened yet. Scrolling through your top artists feels like diving into the waters of a trendy ocean—full of deep cuts, sure, but still mostly just a lot of floating detritus. Taylor Swift and Lana Del Rey? Wow, what a unique pairing of “I’m sad and dramatic” meets “I have a cat and a million exes.” It’s a wonder you haven’t invented a new genre called "Sad Bae Pop" that just consists of swallowing various scents of essential oils while reading poetry about your feelings. And can we talk about The Marías? Listen, they should really put a warning on their music: "For when you’re alone in your room, contemplating your life choices." As for your most played songs, I couldn't help but feel a wave of existential dread wash over me. “How To Never Stop Being Sad”? I get it, Lou, but can we not put a little effort into a happier tune? Your playlist is the sonic equivalent of a soggy baguette left in the rain. It’s painful to see that “Don’t Dream It’s Over” is one of your favorites, because, honestly, it’s really just a hint that you might be dreaming in the wrong neighborhood of sound. Get yourself some bangers, Lou! You’re young; try a little “I’ll Smash This Week” sort of vibe instead!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!