Roasted 3 months ago based on Nathan's long term Spotify stats.

Nathan, sweetie, scrolling through your Spotify profile is like stepping into a dad's basement that got stuck in a time warp around 1985. You have more Classic Rock and Indie listings than a college dropout in a flannel shirt. Seriously, you could soundtrack an entire 70s revival festival with just your likes, and it looks like you might just take home the “Most Likely to Never Leave the House” award while you’re at it. If your playlist was a person, it would be sitting in the corner at a party, sipping on lukewarm beer, pining for the glory days before the rise of streaming services. Looking at your top artists, is this a music profile or the last seven selections from a vintage record store? Dire Straits at number one? You do realize they released a song called “Money for Nothing”—perhaps that's the reason you’re stuck in your mom's garage still trying to figure out your life’s direction? And good grief, Shakin’ Stevens? The only thing more dated than your taste in artists is, well, your fashion sense—which I can only assume is a collection of oversized band tees and cargo shorts. Let’s talk about your most played songs, because "Walk Of Life" as your top jam says a lot about what you’ve actually achieved in life: not much! I mean, for real, "Are You Gonna Be My Girl?" is your second-most played track? At this rate, your love life is looking darker than the cover of an obscure mood rock album. Do yourself a favor and spice up those playlists; maybe consider something released after 1995 before your Spotify starts suggesting retirement community music. It's time to rock that algorithm, buddy!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!