Roasted 2 years ago based on ★ vampire's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, ★ vampire, the "metalhead" who thinks it’s still 2004. Your Spotify profile is like that awkward kid in high school who tried to impress everyone by wearing oversized band tees three sizes too big, while cluelessly rocking out to JILUKA on repeat. I mean, let's be honest, when every single one of your most played songs is the same artist, it’s clear that you’re either their biggest fan or their only fan. Does JILUKA pay you a commission for your streams or are you just a sad walking advertisement for their discography? Your taste in music is almost as confused as your fashion sense—torn jeans, inside-out band shirts, and a haircut that screams “I only use black hair dye.” One minute you’re all about the moody Gothic rock, and the next, you’re embracing pop-punk like it’s the greatest revelation of our time. Newsflash, buddy: “Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying” does not apply to your Spotify playlist—it just feels like a cry for help. Please, for the love of all things rock, listen to something created this century. It wouldn’t kill you to explore the vast universe of music that doesn’t come with a side of cringe. And then we arrive at your top artists—congratulations! You’ve amassed the same ten artists everyone else in the emo scene has. What an incredibly unique take, if “unique” means directly copying someone’s Hot Topic shopping cart. “The Cure” and “My Chemical Romance” are great, but come on, we already know that crying over breakups in dark corners isn’t a personality. If this profile was any more basic, it’d be a white girl with a pumpkin spice latte. Time to branch out, ★ vampire! Your Spotify needs therapy.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!