Roasted 7 months ago based on Vinch's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Vinch, we all knew you had a penchant for music that sounds like a truck broke down in a swamp, but your Spotify profile is basically the soundtrack to a sad, existential crisis. When your favorites read like a high school emo kid’s diary, we should probably check to see if you’re alright. With a playlist that screams, “I’m going through something,” it’s a miracle you don’t have a song titled “Help Me, I’m Stuck in the ’90s” alongside all that sludge metal and hardcore punk. Seriously, do you still wear flannel shirts? If yes, stop. Your top artists read like a band lineup for a festival that caters exclusively to two types of people: those who’ve never smiled since 1997 and guitar enthusiasts who play solely in drop-D tuning. Led Zeppelin and Billie Holiday? What’s next, a love song by Cannibal Corpse? You must have the emotional range of a nail, flipping between “I hate everything” and “Isn’t it cute to be sad?” at the drop of a hat. It's a miracle you’re still allowed to listen to anything that’s not a funeral dirge or an angry rant filled with incoherent growls. How do you manage to cuddle up with such juxtaposed tastes without a personality crisis? And let’s talk about your most-played songs for a second—nothing screams “I need a hug” quite like the collection of titles you’ve curated. "Self-Inflicted Mental Terror?" I know we’ve all been there, but it's hard not to question your life choices when that's on repeat. Good luck explaining that to your therapist! "Oh yeah, and I also vibe to ‘Monkey Junction’ by Weedeater," you’ll say, as they direct you to a more comforting genre. If Spotify ever had a category for "Cry in the Shower," you'd easily top the charts. Here’s a thought: maybe throw in some Taylor Swift or something, just to spice up that emotional black hole you call a playlist.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!