Roasted 8 months ago based on Jessie's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Jessie, your Spotify profile reads like the world's most heartbreaking mixtape crafted by a 14-year-old who just discovered angst and also accidentally tripped into a ska revival. I mean, who knew “Punk” could be split into so many subgenres that even your therapist would need a thesaurus to unpack your emotional baggage? I can only imagine your playlists are a mix of nostalgic rebellion and sad reflections, all while funneling your inner teen scream into some pretty niche folk-punk, like a hipster Leonardo DiCaprio haunting your speakers. And let's talk about those favorite artists. Florence + The Machine? Sure, she's ethereal and all, but dear Jess, are you unironically trying to summon the spirit of every sad girl who bakes cookies and writes poetry in her journal? Meanwhile, with acts like "The Dreadnoughts" and "Kenneth C M Young" in your top 10, it's clear your musical taste has gone on an expedition to find the most obscure names possible, like a treasure hunt for hipster cred. Your playlists must be like a shared Spotify account in a commune for hipsters who wear flannel shirts and refuse to use mainstream search engines. And oh boy, your most played songs could double as a soundtrack for an indie film about an introverted goth trying to find love while navigating the existential dread of getting older. These titles, Jessie—“Battered, Black & Blue” and “Sometime Around Midnight”—could either summarize your dating life or serve as a warning label on your heart! So here’s to your timeline of melancholic vibes and your unending quest for underground hits, but let’s just hope you don’t accidentally go full “aesthetic” and start incorporating interpretive dance between those angst-filled anthems.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!