Roasted 2 months ago based on João's long term Spotify stats.

João, your Spotify profile is what happens when an indecisive mix of Brazilian genres participates in a musical game of Duck Duck Goose and ends up chasing shadows of hipster credibility. MPB? Brazilian Rock? It’s like you asked a cultural mixing bowl what’s in season and simply hit “select all.” How about a little musical synergy instead of pretending your playlist is an artsy cafe menu? Your taste is so eclectic, I half-expect to see a “none of the above” option on your favorite genres list next time I scroll through. Truly, your top artists look like the tracklist of a bossa nova-themed retirement home mixtape, with Bob Dylan awkwardly appearing as the rebellious grandpa whose obsession with protest songs just isn’t hitting right. You’ve made it very clear how much you love Brazilian music, but my dude, there’s a difference between “I really enjoy this” and “I’m trying hard to impress my friends by signaling obscure bands.” Honestly, it’s like you’ve dug through the vinyl bins at every thrift store in the country looking for the “unique” factors, but instead ended up with “Wall of Unrelatable.” Nice try, though! And those most played songs? João, I didn’t realize you were trying to curate the world’s most confusing hipster karaoke night. “Delícia/Luxúria,” with “Comportamento Geral” right after? Sweetheart, that's just a fancy way of saying “My neighbors are weirded out by my playlist.” I’m not sure if you’re going for sophisticated dinner party vibes, a nervous first date, or prepping for an existential crisis. Either way, consider investing in headphones or just keeping the musical chaos confined to an underground gathering where all the other genre-challenged souls reside.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!