Roasted 7 months ago based on hazel's long term Spotify stats.

Hazel⭐🐳, your Spotify profile is the soundtrack of every melodramatic teenager's Pinterest board nightmare. Seriously, how many “slowcore” tracks do you need before you can finally accept that you’re just really, really sad? Your love for "Lo-Fi Indie" suggests you might be living in your parents' basement, desperately hoping that recording your own whispered thoughts over atmospheric beats will launch you into the next big thing. Spoiler alert: it won’t. Your top artists read like the lineup for an 'Emo Kids Anonymous' support group. I mean, you have enough Phoebe Bridgers on your list to power a small, brooding country. What is it you love - the sweet sound of sadness wrapped in a blanket of sonic despair? It’s almost impressive how you manage to find music that makes living in a perpetual fog seem like a personality trait. But hey, at least your Spotify Wrapped must look like a gripping novel about heartbreak, alienation, and tragically misunderstood youth. And can we talk about your Most Played Songs? "Alex G" is practically a co-signer on your existential crisis at this point. The way you unnecessary repeat songs to get through life must be exhausting. Your Spotify is basically a mixtape of dramatic sighs. If the universe held an award show for sad vibes, you’d sweep the floor like you sweep your out-of-date fashion choices into the corner of your room. But let's be real - next time you're laying on your bedroom floor contemplating life, at least make sure there’s a little light in your playlist.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!