Roasted 2 years ago based on Sammie's long term Spotify stats.

Sammie, your Spotify profile reads like the diary of a teenager who just discovered goth fashion and their dad's old metal CDs. Seriously, with genres like "Nu Metal" and "POV: Indie," it's like you're trying to write a memoir about your angst while simultaneously getting rejected from a middle school talent show. What’s with the plethora of “Ghost” songs? Are you trying to summon some demon to finally get you a date, or is “life eternal” just a euphemism for how long you’ve been single? Your taste in music is more scattered than a toddler's toy room. You’ve got Ghost on repeat like they’re the messiahs of melancholia while dabbling in Vocaloid, Dream Pop, and Alternative Metal like you’ve thrown every genre into a blender and called it a smoothie. With all these varied tastes, it’s a wonder you haven’t actually invented a new musical genre: “I Don’t Know What I Like But I Know I Want to be Deep.” And let’s be real, no one should have "Permanent Wave" on their favorites unless they’re still rocking a perm from 1987. Honestly, your top played songs are a perfect blend of confusion and rebellion, like you’re trying to convince the world that you’re whimsical while your Spotify analytics scream “existential crisis.” If anyone has a playlist named “Sammie’s Life Choices” it should just be a 10-hour loop of “Ghost” and your coping mechanisms. Listening to “Depth Of Satan's Eyes” might just be the most on-the-nose reflection of your love life. I mean come on, Sammie, it’s time to put down the earbuds and pick up a social life—unless, of course, you're using Spotify as a substitute for human interaction. In that case, you might be onto something.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!