Roasted 2 days ago based on elsie's long term Spotify stats.

Dear Elsie, your Spotify profile is the epitome of trying too hard to embrace all the hipster cred possible while simultaneously being a full-time noise collector. I mean, are you curating a playlist or just trying to scare your friends with the sheer range of your questionable taste? K-Pop meets Southern Gothic sounds like the musical nightmare of a moody teenager who just discovered the wonders of existential dread—congratulations, you've officially hit peak "I think I'm deeper than I really am." Your obsession with Arctic Monkeys could put a broken record to shame. Why do I get the feeling that you’ve planned your whole identity around them as if Alex Turner personally signed your life’s soundtrack? If I have to hear “Do I Wanna Know?” one more time, I might actually hope for some garage rock exuberance to sweep you off your feet and lead you to new experiences… like, I don’t know, actually listening to different music? I mean, you've got Mozart in there—which is honestly the most refined taste in your whole profile—but I’m still convinced it's just a ploy to maintain the illusion that you’re cultured amid all that jangle pop chaos. And let’s talk about those “most played songs.” Did you really think hiding all those Arctic Monkeys tracks beneath a veneer of pseudo-sophistication would work? Newsflash: when half your top ten is a one-trick pony, we can all hear the desperation in your ears. I can only imagine how many times your friends have had to feign enthusiasm when you bring "Crying Lightning" around like it's a lost artifact of musical genius. So here’s a challenge: dare to step outside the box just once, or take the plunge into truly obscure noise music. Who knows? You might even stumble upon something that makes you forget Alex Turner altogether (gasp!).

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!