Roasted 1 year ago based on Tristan's long term Spotify stats.

Tristan, your Spotify profile reads like the lost mixtape of a confused hipster who mistook a trap house for a therapy session. Seriously, just looking at your favorite genres is like peeking into the bottom of a bargain bin at a flea market: “Trap Argentino? Check. Urbano Espanol? Check. Did we just find the soundtrack to a midlife crisis?” With a list that’s more niche than a cat video channel, it’s hard to tell if you’re an aspiring DJ or a bartender trying to come up with a drink menu. Your top artists could be the lineup for a “Hip Hop Therapy for Millennials” seminar. Duki, Nicki Nicole, and Seven Kayne? More like “I’ve run out of popular options and I’m just trying to fit in with the teens.” I’m half-convinced you have a Spotify playlist titled “Songs to Cry to While Eating Pizza Alone.” And let’s be real, you’re probably the type to shimmy at your desk while listening to “Trap Triste” like it’s an upbeat pop anthem. News flash: it’s not a party unless you leave the air of depression, buddy. As for your most played songs, if anyone ever wondered how deep your taste runs, it's about as deep as that kiddie pool in your backyard. “SPACE SEX” by COSMIC KID? Is that your subtle plea for someone to ask you out, or just another day in the life of a hopeless romantic with zero game? And “Sexo de Despedida” sounds like your next Tinder opener. Just know this: unless you’re playing these tracks at maximum volume while actually getting out and living your life, you might as well slap a sign on your forehead that says, “Too cool for actual fun!”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!