Roasted 10 months ago based on eddie's long term Spotify stats.

Eddie, your Spotify profile reads like a funeral playlist for a retirement home that got lost on the way to the golden years. I didn’t know “Adult Standards” was a genre; I thought it was just what they played to keep the geriatrics from throwing their dentures at each other. And who needs new music when you have the melodic pulse of Swing Music threatening to revive your grandparents’ dance floor dreams? You're out here acting like "Soft Rock" is a personality trait, and honestly, it’s doing you dirty. Your top artists are less a celebration and more an episode of "What Went Wrong". Frank Sinatra and Elvis? Sure, those legends are timeless, but I can’t help but think that “Weird Al” Yankovic is the one holding it all together. You’ve got more nostalgia than a history textbook, and if “Kanye West” is the wild card in this mix, I can only assume he’s the last kid picked for dodgeball who still showed up in bell-bottoms and a fedora. Word of advice: the ‘rap’ in your list is more like a gentle whisper at a knitting circle than anything that would get the neighborhood kids riled up. And those most played songs? Honey, it’s 2023, and your number one jam is “True” by Spandau Ballet? You must bring a boombox to the grocery store just to make everyone question their life choices. If I had a nickel for every time I heard “Year of the Cat” played at a 65+ mixer, I’d be rich enough to hire a DJ who can help you embrace music that was made after Nixon was in office. Seriously, Eddie, take this as a sign: let go of the vinyl, hit shuffle, and maybe—just maybe—find a few tracks that won’t have you reminiscing about events that happened before even you were born.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!