Roasted 3 months ago based on Raphael Rodriguez's long term Spotify stats.

Raphael, your Spotify profile screams "I peaked in high school and somehow managed to drag that vibe into adulthood." With a favorite genres list longer than your attention span, it’s clear you’re trying to compensate for something—perhaps the fact that you still look wistfully out of your bedroom window hoping for a time machine to take you back to those angst-ridden teen years. “Shoegaze”? More like “Shoezzz” – because that’s what everyone does when you start rambling about your sad playlists. Let’s talk about your top artists, shall we? You’ve got Radiohead, Mac DeMarco, and Nirvana—all artists who made it big because they knew how to write a proper song, not just mumble about feelings over distorted guitar riffs. “MF DOOM” and “Her's” mix a bit of coolness with your otherwise pacifist lineup, but then you go and ruin it with “800 cherries,” which is either an indie band or a description of your love life. And please, don't tell me you consider “Weezer” as some sort of musical revelation. Rivers Cuomo is just the gift that keeps on giving to...well, the bored hipsters who still wear thrift-store plaid. Your most played songs are basically a masterclass in emotional insecurity. “When You Sleep” by My Bloody Valentine? That's cute for a first date, but try to keep your heartbreak to yourself next time you're in public. And “SLOW DANCING IN THE DARK”? Is that what you do when the lights go out while you’re alone with your thoughts? I get it; you're just trying to set the scene for a tragic teenage novella. Newsflash, Raphael: While you’re dreaming of a melodramatic indie life, the rest of us are trying to figure out how to wake up and actually live in color—no CD player required.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!