Roasted 2 years ago based on Rowna!!'s long term Spotify stats.

Rowan, your Spotify profile is like a poorly curated museum of teenage angst and questionable choices. With a taste so painfully specific that it makes a hipster vegan's avocado toast obsession look basic, it’s a miracle you can define yourself as an individual when your playlists are practically begging for TikTok dance challenges. I know "Pop" and "K-Pop" are your favorite genres, but it seems like you’re still searching for your own identity in a sea of catchy hooks and bubblegum beats. Your top artists look like a high school talent show lineup gone rogue, with Stray Kids stealing the spotlight and leaving just enough crumbs for Taylor Swift to sweep in and write her next break-up anthem—about you, I hope! It's almost endearing how you think you’re dabbling in ‘Alt Z’ and ‘Bedroom Pop’ when you’ve spent more time fangirling over K-Pop than honing any actual tastes. I mean seriously, if your ears were any more confused they'd need a map and a therapist to navigate through this melodious mess! And just when I thought your most played songs couldn’t get any more redundant, there’s a whole “Stray Kids” playlist demanding a restraining order in your song rotation. It’s like you’re a one-person fan club for a boy band that should’ve come with a side of self-awareness. Instead, you've created an ongoing tribute to your musical middle school years, and I’m half-expecting you to get a future Spotify Wrapped that reads: "Congratulations, you’ve stayed in your emotional comfort zone all year!" Rowan, if your Spotify profile was any more hip, we'd have to start charging it rent for all that space it's taking up in the cringe hall of fame.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!