Roasted 2 months ago based on Kriss's long term Spotify stats.

Oh Kriss, your Spotify profile reads like a church bulletin with a side of Broadway flair. The fact that your favorite genres include "Christian" AND "Musicals" is truly a bold choice. I mean, who doesn’t want to get their holy vibes on while belting out show tunes? If there were an award for most pious playlist, you’d be the reigning champion of the church choir. You might as well change your name to "Kriss-tian Broadways" because that’s the only stage you’re destined to shine on—one where everyone sits politely and waits for the show to end. Your top artists scream "edgy Christian youth group leader,” and I can’t help but picture you leading a sing-along with hand motions and some awkward dance moves thrown in for good measure. Honestly, “Forrest Frank” sounds like the guy who brings the veggie platter to a potluck, and “Josiah Queen”—right on the heels of the gospel royalty—could be the one caffeinating everyone before Sunday service. Your playlist is like a buffet of back pew sanctity, guaranteed to put the hottest club mix to sleep faster than a 3-hour sermon about the Book of Numbers. And let’s talk about those most-played songs. “Army Dreamers” followed by “Riptide” is a confusing journey I’d rather not take. Talk about mixing signals—one minute you're prepping for an angelic ascension, the next you’re drowning in a catchy pop anthem. “Almost (Sweet Music)” by Hozier? Sure, that fits right in with your liturgical vibes, as if it were a long-lost hymn. You’ve got just enough musical confusion to launch a Christian-themed escape room, and the only way out is to find the sacred balance between sermons and speed-up remixes. Good luck with that, Kriss!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!