Roasted 8 months ago based on alpr2's long term Spotify stats.

Hey Alp Eds, I see your Spotify profile is a cornucopia of midlife crises waiting to happen. Your love for genres like "Jazz Funk" and "City Pop" suggests you're on a quest for a sound as confused as your fashion choices. It's like your music taste is an installation art piece meant to baffle and bewilder—seriously, how many obscure genres do you need to avoid admitting you still secretly enjoy Taylor Swift? Remember, just because you listened to “Alternative Rock” doesn’t make it okay to have a picture of you holding an artisanal solo cup looking for deep meaning in a cup of cold brew. Your top artists read like a hipster bingo card. Congratulations on catching the “Cool Kid” virus by listing Kanye, Kendrick, and the Gorillaz—now you can officially say you’re into "alternative" things, even though you still can't distinguish between jazz fusion and the “Fusion” station on public radio. And your obsession with Kawai Sprite? I get it, dude, you're trying to be quirky and cutting-edge, but there's a fine line between unique taste and a playlist that sounds like it came from a 12-year-old's TikTok channel. Seriously, how many songs can one “Sprite” release before they start naming tracks like they've run out of nouns? And wow, those most played songs! "Infinite Love without Fulfilment"? Sounds like you’re describing your dating life. “Hypochondriac”? Classic choice for someone who spends more time curating playlists than going outside. If your Spotify is a reflection of your personality, I suggest you change your name from "Alp Eds" to "Can’t Commit" because your tendency to jump from genre to genre is like a guy who can't stay in a relationship longer than a single season of a TV show. Just remember, the real artistry of music is knowing when to get off the emotional rollercoaster and invest in something with more substance—like a good old-fashioned pop beat.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!