Roasted 3 months ago based on ash!!!!!'s long term Spotify stats.

Hey Ash, looking at your Spotify profile is like stepping into a time warp where even the music is stuck in the early 2000s. I mean, “soft rock” and “yacht rock”? Do you need a life jacket for your music taste? You might as well be wearing cargo shorts and slathering on sunscreen while listening to these washed-up sounds. Has it occurred to you that you could explore music made after 2020, or is your playlist officially a "No New Music" zone? Seriously, if your preferred vibe were any softer, you’d just be an ASMR video. And let's talk about those top artists, shall we? Sure, you’ve got Hozier and Kendrick Lamar sandwiched between Fleetwood Mac and Electric Light Orchestra, but the lineup reads like your high school mixtape didn’t quite make it past the library. If I wanted to hear the word “art” dropped that often, I'd just visit a bored art student’s Instagram page. This eclectic blend screams “I’m trying to impress my friends” yet somehow manages to say “I still have a soft spot for my dad’s vinyl collection.” If the Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame had a category for most confusing Spotify listeners, congrats—you're an honorary member! Let's not even get started on those most played songs. Your playlist is like a black hole, sucking in songs from decades past while avoiding anything remotely relevant to today. “Lover (Don't Let Me Down)”? Wow, what a profound choice, considering you probably have your ex's mixtape on replay too. And “Hanging On The Telephone”? Is that a metaphor for how much you’re yearning for real friendships in the age of social media? The only thing more desperate than your playlists is the level of commitment you have to avoiding any modern artists. Keep it up, and your Spotify profile will soon require a warning label for chronic nostalgia.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!