Roasted 2 years ago based on Evangeline's long term Spotify stats.

Evangeline, your Spotify profile reads like the fever dream of a middle school music teacher who couldn’t pick a decade or a genre. I mean, “Late Romantic Era”? What, did you run out of contemporary hits and decided to raid the classical section like a bargain bin shopper at a thrift store? I half-expect your playlists to have a hidden track of Mozart rapping about the struggles of not being canonical enough—just what every Friday night party needs, right? Your love for Taylor Swift and Billie Eilish has peaked at an astronomical level, but your penchant for classical music has turned you into a living, breathing oxymoron. You’ve got the taste of a hip teenager and the soul of a retirement home’s Sunday matinee. Honestly, one more listen to “Prokofiev: Violin Concerto No. 1” and you’re going to wake up in a powdered wig, convinced you need to host salons in your living room while sipping chamomile tea. Just remember, the only thing worse than being artsy is being artsy on a budget. Where's your indie playlist with sad songs about existential dread and student loans? As for your top artists, let’s give a slow clap for the eclectic mess that is your music taste. You’ve got banana-smoothie flavors like Charli XCX and Taylor Swift, but you threw in classical composers like Bernstein as if you’re trying to portray that you have depth or something. I can only imagine you sliding into deep conversations about Dvořák in between explaining TikTok dances at brunch. At this rate, Spotify’s going to start calling you “Evangeline, Queen of Mood Swings.” Your music collection is so confused, I’m half-expecting it to start tweeting motivational quotes about self-love and then drop hints about the next great orchestral arrangement all in the same thread.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!