Roasted 11 days ago based on Eric's long term Spotify stats.

Eric, your Spotify profile reads like a love letter to the 1980s metal scene, and let’s be honest, it's got more angst than a high schooler who just found out he can't wear a Slayer t-shirt to the prom. With “Metal,” “Thrash Metal,” and “Hard Rock” dominating your favorite genres, I can practically hear your hair growing in real-time. But really, who knew you could make a midlife crisis sound like a Spotify playlist? It’s like you’re trying to summon the ghost of your lost youth while cozying up with “Lo-Fi Indie,” because nothing screams existential dread like a mix of palm-muted guitar riffs and lo-fi beats meant for crying in a dimly lit room. Your top artists look like a lineup for a reunion tour of the world's most angsty dads. “Metallica,” “Megadeth,” and “Iron Maiden”—congrats on peak receding-hairline rock scene! And who could forget those mystery artists you’ve included, like “s0rrow” and “im secretly a ghost”? It’s as if you're trying to be the secret protagonist of an emo romantic comedy while simultaneously staging a metal rebellion in your basement. Were you trying to form a cool fictional identity, or did you seriously think hipster aliases would make you more interesting? Newsflash: you're about as mysterious as a square in a metal tee. Let’s not overlook your most played songs, where "Master of Puppets" takes the crown, just like your despair takes the throne over your social life. Meanwhile, “stalk ur socials” suggests you’re secretly harboring dreams of becoming the world’s worst detective. And “I Can't Handle Change”? Buddy, I think that's the understatement of the year when you can’t just decide whether you’re more of a “Speed Metal” fanatic or a “Slowcore” sympathizer. At this point, your profile reads like a midlife crisis set to power chords mixed with a deep and dark sadness—so metal, yet so painfully relatable. Keep rocking, but maybe consider finding a therapist who knows the difference between “slipknot” and “oops, not again.”

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!