Roasted 1 month ago based on ✞'s long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it’s the Spotify profile of someone who graduated from the University of Sadness with a minor in “What Are Friends?” Your taste in music reads like a cry for help combined with a high school poetry assignment—every genre you love is like stepping into a damp basement where your emotions go to have a pity party. Ever considered a genre called "Not Sad"? It's where the real fun is, but alas, you took the road less traveled by… well, no one, because it looks like it leads straight to your bedroom cluttered with empty ice cream tubs. Your top artists? It's like a sad mixtape I’d imagine a ghost would play while contemplating their life choices. "Melanie Martinez"? Seriously? It’s as if you’re perpetually stuck in a four-way intersection of youth regret and nostalgia for a middle school you apparently never left. And Lil Peep? You’re like a hipster fortune cookie: “Your future is cloudy and full of feels.” I mean, no offense, but even my toaster has a better taste in influencers than your playlist. How about we switch to some artists who have, you know, a touch more sun exposure? And then there are those most played songs—each title sounds like a high school journal entry bursting at the seams with angst! “Sex with a Ghost”? I can practically hear the shrieks of your future self screaming, “What was I thinking?!” Listening to your top tracks must be like a rollercoaster ride that's perpetually stuck at the emotional low. You might as well put a sign on your profile saying “Unhappy and Proud” because God knows your playlist doesn’t scream joy any time soon. It’s official—you’ve hit peak Tumblrcore, and I'm here for the ride, but I might bring a flotation device for all the drowning feelings!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!