Roasted 5 months ago based on j's long term Spotify stats.

Wow, "j," your Spotify profile reads like the diary of someone who takes "moonlighting as a jazz aficionado" a little too seriously. Your genre choices are so niche that I half expected to see "Invisibility Jazz" or "Chair-Sitting Jazz" on the list. Seriously, when did you start curating a playlist exclusively designed to help people fall asleep? I haven’t seen this much snooze since my last visit to my great-aunt’s retirement home. And what's with your top artist being "wave to earth"? Is that some kind of hipster code for "I'm too cool for a real name"? I get it, you want your playlists to sound like an artsy indie film where nothing really happens. But I had no idea you wanted to soundtrack my next trip to the dentist. The fact that "wave to earth" outnumbers every other artist in your most played list is a more alarming reflection on your taste than that time you tried to convince me that eating kale chips was fun. Spoiler alert: it’s not. Then there's your list of most played songs. “Piano And Strings - 1995 Remastered” made the cut while everything else sounds like it was written by your confused feelings after a bad breakup. Seriously, if I wanted to hear that many sad songs, I’d just read your Twitter feed. But hey, who am I to judge? At least your music taste is as unique as your inability to make a decision when it comes to getting food. It’s like you've created a cocoon of jazz to protect the world from your taste in everything else. Congratulations, you are officially the king of mood music for those who don't want to be around real human interaction!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!