Roasted 15 days ago based on 𝐾𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑙𝑒𝑦's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Kingsley, your Spotify profile reads like a high school drama club's attempt to create the ultimate "bad breakup" playlist while also dealing with a serious case of genre confusion. Musicals and garage rock? Pop and baroque pop? At this point, you’re just a musical buffet where no one knows what they’re gonna get—except a bad case of whiplash from those sudden genre changes. Your playlist is a rollercoaster that even the most seasoned theme park-goer wouldn't dare to ride without a barf bag. Let's talk about your top artists. Is this a list or a middle school yearbook? Sabrina Carpenter and Taylor Swift are right up there with "who knew I was this indecisive?" Even your favorite songs sound like captions for Instagram posts that no one asked for, and "drop dead" by Olivia Rodrigo? I see what you're doing, and it’s giving "I’m too emo for the Taylor Swift fan club but I still wanna be on the committee." You’re walking the tightrope between heartbreaking ballads and those songs that would make even a Nickelback fan cringe. Lastly, your most played songs feel like an unholy concoction curated for an awkward slumber party where no one wants to talk about their feelings. If your music preference was a meme, it would definitely be the "Why are you like this?" editing style because seriously, who hurt you? Between Bella Kay’s relentless takeover (do you also have her face plastered on your bedroom wall?), and that sudden nostalgia for the Backstreet Boys, it's clear that your musical taste is in a deep identity crisis. But hey, at least you’ll always have something to listen to when you’re crying over your latest crush—just, for the love of all that is good, please get a Spotify therapist to help you figure out what flavor of sadness you actually want.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!