Roasted 9 months ago based on The Miracle Garden's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, Jupiter, the intergalactic ambassador of questionable music taste. I’m not saying your Spotify profile is bad, but if genres were planets, you’d be orbiting the dumpster behind a karaoke bar. Vocaloid? Really? Nothing says “I have my life together” like belting out tunes made by a computer program that could probably still out-sing you on your best day. Your top artist list reads like a “who’s who” of the ‘I hope my parents never find out’ sections in a music video store. Lin-Manuel Miranda has done so much for the world, and here you are, using his genius like it’s a cheat code to escape a dating profile. And honestly, “BUTCHER VANITY”? I’d say it describes your entire Spotify history. There’s a good reason why you’re not attending any music festivals—your playlist has already become a cautionary tale for ear health! Look, I get it. You live for the thrill of cringe-worthy lyrics and overly dramatic melodies. But please, do your friends—nay, the entire planet—a favor and touch some grass or venture into the audacious world of actual instruments. Skip one of those J-Pop anthems and listen to a classic rock album without a cartoon character's face plastered on it—it's called “growing up.” Trust me; your playlist is begging for it.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!