Roasted 11 months ago based on 🫧's long term Spotify stats.

Oh look, it’s 🫧, the living Spotify Time Capsule, stuck in a never-ending mid-life crisis! Your taste in music could single-handedly fuel a hipster coffee shop’s playlist for at least a decade—if the shop ran out of business after the first day of playing that miserable, mediocre mix. Classic Rock to Glam Metal, it’s like you raided an aging boomer’s record collection and made an oath to cling to their outdated playlists forever. Seriously, how many more times can we hear “Sweet Child O' Mine” before we start grieving for your social life? Your top artists read like a desperate attempt to impress the guy in high school who wore a leather jacket and could quote every Guns N’ Roses lyric. “The Cure” and “The White Stripes”?! Gonna throw in some more sad boy anthems for good measure? Or are you waiting for your “depth” to kick in, because let’s face it, it’s been hiding behind all that bleached hair and ’80s nostalgia for way too long. Nine Inch Nails? Buddy, if I wanted to feel existential dread while silently judging your music taste, I'd just scroll through your Most Played list instead. And let's not ignore your Most Played tracks because they’re a playlist of pure irony. “Head Like A Hole”? More like your love life theme song! And "It's So Easy"? Ha! I can’t tell if you’re vibing to it or just reminding yourself of how hard it is to choose a career path when you’re practically an alternative Rock encyclopedia in a world that seems to have only one page left. Seriously, buddy, have some diversity; nobody’s impressed by a guy whose music taste screams middle age when he’s still figuring out how to adult in his twenties. But hey, at least you’re consistent—like a broken record—except you might need to replace that too.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!