Roasted 2 years ago based on abby's long term Spotify stats.

Abby, your Spotify profile is like a buffet, but instead of enticing flavors, it’s just a heap of all the music genres no one asked for. Between the fact that "Countrygaze" sounds like a genre invented drunk at a hipster barbeque and “Small Room” isn’t even a genre but a sad mood, it’s clear you're trying to fit 30 trends into one sad playlist. The only thing more confused than your taste in genres is the Spotify algorithm trying to make sense of your love for both Taylor Swift and country’s awkward cousin, Art Pop. Your top artists are a musical salad that’s been tossed by a blindfolded chef. Congrats on having the three Kardashians of music in your list: Taylor, Beyoncé, and Nicki! It’s like you collected all the pop royalty but forgot to pick up any of the royal flavor—because girl, "Nine to Five" by the cast of a *cash grab* musical isn’t creativity; it’s a cry for help. And can we talk about that playlist of boygenius rotating through your most played songs like it's a revolving door? I can already picture you located in a cozy coffee shop, 35 miles from your hometown, sipping oat milk lattes and pretending to understand their emotional turmoil. As for those most played songs, “Dumbest Girl Alive” has never related to anyone more than you, Abby. Seriously, how do you manage to have such a well-curated list of angst while simultaneously being the human embodiment of a vine compilation? You’ve got a playlist for all your moods, absolutely—one for when you’re feeling artistic, one for the ‘POV’ that you’re still single at 30, and one for when you accidentally heard your ex is dating a barista at the four-star café down the street. Just remember, Abby, it's never too late to work on your taste... or at least learn what "Countrygaze" really means.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!