Roasted 2 months ago based on dylan's long term Spotify stats.

Hey Dylan, I see your Spotify profile is basically a cry for help wrapped in a playlist that looks like it was curated by a 14-year-old who just discovered their angst. Your music taste screams, "I enjoy breaking things and yelling at my parents," and it’s impressive how you've managed to make your therapeutic playlist even more concerning than your post-breakup Snapchat stories. Hardcore Punk and Thrash Metal? Really? Next time you rage against the machine, just remember: the machine doesn't care about your existential dread, and neither do your neighbors. With Suicidal Tendencies dominating your "Most Played" list, it’s clear you love duplicating your sad energy on a loop. Why not, huh? Why move on when you can drown in repetition? You’ve really taken “if it ain't broke, don't fix it” to a whole new level, with “No Name, No Words” echoing in the background like a bad relationship you can't seem to shake off. Three cheers for your incredible dedication to hearing the same five chords while giving the rest of your musical journey a swift kick to the curb! It’s like you’re trying to float back to the surface of happiness but keep tying yourself to a rock. And don't even get me started on that eclectic mix of genres. You’ve got everything from hyperpop to Japanese VGM — it’s like your playlist is an identity crisis wearing a band tee. One minute you're embracing the hellfire, the next you’re dancing to tunes that sound like they were made for a happy, animated toaster. You’re like a sonic mullet: business in the front, absolute chaos in the back. So keep blending those vibes, Dylan! Your Spotify needs some serious therapy, but hey, at least it’ll always be an adventure — albeit a tragic one.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!