Roasted 1 year ago based on cello's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Cello, we get it—your Spotify profile is the ultimate nostalgia trip that doubles as a time capsule for people who still think flared jeans are coming back. You've curated a playlist more suited for a retirement home than a music streaming service. Classic Rock, Baroque Pop, and a side of Christian tunes? Did you accidentally set your profile to “Dad’s Weekend Jams” instead of “I’m Young and Relevant”? With your top artists, it feels like you’re having a midlife crisis right before our eyes. The only time you’re going to feel “Good Vibrations” is when the mixtape from your teenage crush finally finds its way to the thrift store. It’s like your taste in music got stuck in 1965, and your Spotify is currently ghosting you with unsolicited advice on how to get with the times. Kudos for bringing the “oldies” and “goldies” back into the limelight, but this is 2023, not a vintage flea market. And let’s talk about that most played list! If you had a dollar for every time a Beach Boys track popped up, you could fund a therapy session for all that repressed emotional turmoil. Your love for harmonious pop anthems practically screams, “I’m still waiting for my high school sweetheart to text me back!” Also, “Mr. Brightside” is the only thing keeping you awake between the hour-long ballads and early hymns you’ve been blasting. So, here’s to you, Cello: rock on with your wholesome playlists, and maybe, just maybe, let a little chaos in with your music choices.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!