Roasted 1 year ago based on Jensen Ross's long term Spotify stats.

Hey Jensen Ross, with a Spotify profile as eclectic as a thrift store explosion, where every genre is like an insecure teen trying to find themselves. Your top artists list reads like the soundtrack to a midlife crisis for a hipster who just discovered they’re too old for a man bun. I mean, "The Free Design"? Did you think you were going to get hired as a music curator for a retro-themed baby shower or did you lose a bet? Your most played songs could soundtrack a cult documentary about bizarre suburban lifestyles. If we ever need proof of the existence of time travel, your playlist is it; I can practically see you in bell bottoms and a tie-dye shirt, awkwardly swaying to "Ivy On A Windy Day" while sipping a kale smoothie. Who needs the latest bangers when you've got nine different tracks from a band that probably formed in a basement five decades ago? You must have a personal vendetta against mainstream music, or perhaps you just really love the sound of your own aging. And by the way, just because you like “Baroque Pop” doesn’t mean you need to celebrate it in your bio like it’s your first-born child. Your musical taste is so offbeat it’s practically doing the Macarena in the corner, while the rest of us are just trying to enjoy some regular, sanity-preserving tunes. So here's a suggestion: next time you curate your Spotify, think less retro art project and more “please don’t make me question my life choices.” But hey, keep doing you—the world needs more humor, and your profile is as good a source as any!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!