Roasted 1 year ago based on Alex McLean's long term Spotify stats.

Well, well, well, Alex McLean, the self-proclaimed R&B aficionado with a gloriously narrow taste that could fit in a thimble. Seriously, your favorite genres read like a bad middle schooler’s wish list for a school dance—“Can we play the softest pop and also have a Christmas section?” I half-expect your Spotify to have a “Boring Adult Contemporary” playlist buried at the bottom, right next to the “Songs for Math Homework” segment. The only thing more extra than your influences is your need to specify “UK R&B” as if it makes your taste any more refined. Newsflash: liking Sam Smith does not absolve you from basic music sins! Now let's talk about those top artists. You’ve got Brandy leading the pack, which I guess makes sense, considering she’s the only one who could keep up with your obsession. Muni Long sneaks in there, too, which is like going to a high-end restaurant and ordering the plain buttered pasta. And let’s not overlook Sabrina Carpenter—what's next, are you going to claim her as the new Beyoncé? Great choice, if your goal is to make everyone question your entire understanding of pop music! You might as well put “Professional Chill Vibes” on your resume because your music choices scream “I can't even handle the groove.” Now for the most played songs, where the repetitive nature of your playlist is practically begging for a serious intervention. Brandy shows up so much that your Spotify probably thinks you’re on a long-term relationship. “When You Touch Me”? More like “When Are You Going to Touch Some New Genres?” And enough with the Christmas vibes—unless you’re planning to make this a year-round thing and start wearing Santa hats to brunch, you might want to retire that track from the playlist. You are the human equivalent of that person who insists on adding too much sugar to their coffee while declaring themselves a “coffee connoisseur.” Bravo, Alex!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!