Roasted 9 months ago based on 🍓-bri bri-🍓's long term Spotify stats.

Ah, 🍓-bri bri-🍓, a name that sounds like a bad knockoff of a hipster café trying way too hard to attract a crowd. Your favorite genres read like a middle schooler's diary, filled with angst and a desperate longing for validation. "Slowcore"? Really? When did you switch from enjoying music to actively hunting for the slowest way to ruin a party? And don't even get me started on "Hyperpop." It’s like you heard a blender and decided that was your new personality. Let's talk about your top artists. It's a wonder you don't have a permanent place in the corner of every sad coffee shop, sipping a soy latte while lamenting about the universe's cruelty. Billie Eilish, Melanie Martinez—wow, could it be any more on-brand for someone who cries at least twice a week while listening to vaguely depressing songs? You’ve got Nirvana and Weezer in there to keep your rock cred, but honestly, everyone knows you just play “Buddy Holly” for the nostalgia while scrolling through TikTok. Your most played songs tell their own tragic story. Isn’t it adorable that you think "Yummy" by Ayesha Erotica is edgy? News flash, honey, it’s about as edgy as a butter knife. And let’s not forget that you’ve played “TV” by Billie Eilish so many times that your Spotify probably thinks that you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship with your own playlists. So here’s a thought—maybe add some actual bangers to the mix instead of wallowing in your Spotify graveyard. Until then, keep rocking your bedazzled cat ears, you musical enigma!

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!