Roasted 2 years ago based on Simon's long term Spotify stats.

Oh, Simon, your Spotify profile is like a time capsule for the mid-2000s, but somehow, it’s still not a cool one. Who you kidding with that desperate mix of “alternative” and “permanent wave”? Is that your way of saying your hair looks like a sad mop that survived a punk concert? You’ve got more genres on your list than actual people willing to listen to them. "Neon Pop Punk"? Come on, did you just take a hit from the nostalgia bong and decide to create a genre that only exists in your sad little mixtape fantasies? And let’s talk about your top artists—what a line-up! Between Blink-182 and Fleetwood Mac, you’ve managed to create the most confusing playlist since your last breakup, which I can only assume left you jamming to “I Don’t Wanna Be An Asshole Anymore” while furiously scrolling through your ex’s Instagram feed. You do realize that being able to quote Taylor Swift in the same breath as A Day To Remember means you’re straddling the line of emotional chaos like it’s a skateboard ramp, right? Here’s a tip: If your life were a movie, it’d be a cringe-worthy coming-of-age flick that never makes it past the indie festivals—too much angst, not enough character development! Now, your most-played songs look like the soundtrack to a therapy session for people who peaked in high school. “All I Want” followed by “Degenerates” is an insightful commentary on your dating life, I’ll give you that. You're probably one bad karaoke night away from declaring your love for “Geronimo” by Sheppard and crying into your oversized hoodie. Newsflash, Simon: the only thing you’ve been building with this playlist is a wall between you and any meaningful relationships. So, either own it proudly or switch to a genre that doesn’t make you sound like you've been living in a pop-punk bunker since 2005.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!