Roasted 1 year ago based on Keegan Sutcliffe's long term Spotify stats.

Keegan Sutcliffe, huh? Your music taste has more layers than an onion, but somehow still smells like feet. It’s like you opened your Spotify and thought, “You know what screams 'I haven’t seen sunlight in two weeks'? A deathcore playlist mixed with East Coast hip hop.” A cocktail of chaos—sure, it’s impressive that you managed to find a way to blend screaming and metaphors about struggle, but we all know it’s just a desperate cry for help wrapped in a chugging guitar riff. Your top artists read like a list of who managed to get themselves lost in the depths of Bandcamp while trying to remember why they even started making music in the first place. Seriously, Kumo 99? Langston Bristol? At this point, we need a ‘Where Are They Now?’ special just to see if your favorite artists are still alive or have vanished into obscurity, much like your last botched attempt at socializing. And how can you claim to love metal while jamming to BabyMetal? It’s like being a vegan who secretly chows down on bacon. And let’s talk about that most-played song list—it’s so random that I’m surprised Spotify didn’t recommend you sign up for 'Confoundingly Eclectic Taste Anonymous'. "RATATATA" by BABYMETAL may have cracked the code for your personal theme song in life: loud, chaotic, and utterly confusing. Just like you, Keegan. So here’s the deal: if you're going to have a Spotify profile that’s a delightful trainwreck, at least throw in some guilty pleasures instead of a lineup that screams, “I have 47 cats and wear black turtlenecks”.

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!