Roasted 3 months ago based on Emily ★'s long term Spotify stats.

Emily, your Spotify profile reads more like a tribute to David Bowie’s ego than it does a reflection of your own music tastes. I mean, if you played any more Bowie, you might as well legally change your name to Ziggy Stardust. Are you hoping for a passing comet to abduct you and whisk you away to a realm where your music taste is considered adequate, or are you just satisfied with being the world’s biggest Bowie-obsessed billboard? Seriously, there are entire chapters of music history you seem to have skipped, presumably because you were too busy trying to find the perfect sleeve for your vinyl. Your “favorite genres” read like someone pulled a list of 80s goth stereotypes out of a hat, mixed them with the angst of a suburban teenager, and came up with a collection that screams, “Don’t talk to me; I wear black eyeliner, and I’m cooler than you.” New Wave? Do you even know what New Wave is, or are you just trying to sound cultured while hoping nobody asks you to explain? Either way, your taste is as predictable as the plot of a straight-to-DVD horror film—everyone knows the goth kid is going to die first, and in your case, that's your credibility taking an early grave. And let’s not even talk about your most played songs—half of which are remasters! Emily, if I wanted to experience nostalgia for songs that still aren’t even a decade old, I’d just watch reruns of “The Office.” At this point, I’m expecting Bowie’s ghost to show up at your door, shake his head in disappointment, and hand you a mixtape of real rock music, just so he can stop being associated with your Spotify playlist. So here’s an idea: put down the remastered records, step out of your darkwave bunker, and soak in some new sounds; after all, it’s possible to be a fan without living in the past, right?

Roasts are purely for fun and entertainment. They're not meant to be taken seriously. Enjoy the laughs, but remember your music taste is uniquely yours!